It seems political figures can’t keep themselves out of the news – and not because of their careers. The recent case involving South Carolina’s Governor Mark Sanford, in which he fled to Argentina (unbeknownst to his staff and other state leaders) to see his mistress, Maria Belen Chapur, is the latest in a long string of similar stories, and it has brought with it a firestorm of criticism, calls for his impeachment, and more than a little sympathy for his wife Jenny.
Much of the public controversy in this case revolves around the question of whether or not Sanford’s actions make him an unfit leader. As previous cases of politician infidelity, like those of Bill Clinton, John Edwards, and Elliott Spitzer, have proven, for those in the public spotlight, their personal lives do not remain separate from their political ones. And, like those other instances, Sanford’s situation brings up issues of loyalty, trust, and transparency, both when it comes to his constituency and when it comes to his family.
After admitting the affair, Governor Sanford went on to claim that, although he hopes to work things out with his wife, he is in love with his mistress and grappling with his deep feelings for her. Besides the fact that his comments are incredibly tactless, the question becomes at what point we allow someone’s emotions to rule the day. One of the things that often poses a challenge to parents is toeing the line between their own desires and doing what is best for their children. Governor Sanford clearly put his own hedonism and self-interest first, placing his wife in an incredibly difficult position. This is not just a personal betrayal, but a powerful statement to his four sons. Even if the Governor had refrained from speaking out so candidly, children see, hear, and understand far more than they are given credit for. Although kids, the Governor’s children certainly aren’t immune to what takes place around them. What kind of example is he setting for his sons? As a father and role model, he has violated basic principles of trust, loyalty, and the importance of putting his kids first.
Obviously, there’s plenty of disappointment and shame involved when it comes to Jenny as well. His wife of 20 years, Jenny is a Georgetown-educated, Former Wall Street VP, who ran her husband’s first gubernatorial campaign and has been instrumental in the building of his career. "It's hard to find out your husband is not who you thought he was,” she says now. And although she knew about the affair and allowed her husband to meet with Chapur when she thought he planned to end it, her shock and pain likely increased with the Governor’s recent comments about this not being an affair, but a “love story.” She responded to recent questioning about his uncertain future by saying, “His career is not a concern of mine . . . I’m worried about my family and the character of my children.”
And while he admits that he “let down a lot of people,” this type of damage is not something that can easily be undone. The moral of the story is – think before you act. Especially when it involves your children.
I was recently asked to comment about this on CNN. See the video here.
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