The Great Northern Controversy: The Mommy Wars Head North

image from CBC News

Deciding whether or not (and when) to return to work after giving birth presents a daunting decision for all working moms. While some women simply cannot wait to settle into the role of a stay-at-home mom, others are itching to jump back into the working world. And with everyone (including men!) continuously voicing varying opinions on this highly personal issue, there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight for the controversy.

The Mommy Wars debate was recently reignited (this time north of the border in Canada) after Alberta Finance Minister Iris Evans implied that children raised by two working parents are worse off than those raised in a household with one stay-at-home parent. While speaking about Alberta’s economy at the Economic Club of Canada in Toronto, the divorced mother of 3 (now adult) children insinuated that staying at home to achieve “proper” parenting proves crucial, even if it means losing income. Citing her own children’s parenting experience, she said: “They’ve understood perfectly well that when you’re raising children you don’t both go off to work and leave them for somebody else to raise. This is not a statement against daycare. It’s a statement about their belief in the importance of raising children properly.” Digressing from her speech, Evans also associated mental illness and crime with a lack of education.

Responses to Evans’ comments on parenting were mixed, but she issued an apology soon after. Critics of Evans claimed her statements pegging families with two working adults as neglectful parents were generalizations. Opponents also drew attention to low wages and the struggling economy, citing them as examples of Evans’ ignorance. In contrast, a number of supporters agreed with her parenting claims, and even admitted they couldn’t imagine parenting any other way.

In a public statement, Evans acknowledged the fact that families are forced to make decisions based on their own unique circumstances, and she explained that her comments were not meant as the only appropriate parenting guidelines. She went on to say that: “raising a child is the most important responsibility in our society,” and her remarks “were a reflection of its importance to me personally.”

So as tensions over the issue in Canada begin to die down, the parenting question still lingers unresolved. What do you think of Ms. Evans’ comments? Even though we’d all love to spend as much time as possible with our children, is it unrealistic to expect parents to put their careers on hold, especially during a time of such economic uncertainty? Should we be outraged by the suggestion that we follow such a seemingly old-fashioned practice in the 21st century? While parenting trends will continue to fluctuate, some core principles of childrearing - acceptance, love, and a set of strong values to follow - remain unchanged and foolproof.

Comments

[thriftymommastips]

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[Miranda Kuskie]

This is a really interesting article. I can see both sides. I love to work but I've worked in a daycare and seen some of the things that go on there.. it was an unloving environment, busy, and workers had very little time to devote to the children. By the time we were done making lunch it was time to go outside, then diaper changes, then nap time. I just saw things that really made me realize the importance of staying at home and my husband and I both made the choice for me to do so, even when that means he works 2 jobs. It's nothing against daycares but I think us moms should be a huge part of our children's lives. If we aren't the ones shaping who they become, then who is?

However, I also think that as a family you have to do what you have to do to keep your head above water.. even it if means mommy going back to work.

[Lorie Shewbridge]

It really does a disservice to mothers all over the world who are trying to FEED their children in this economy by saying something as ignorant (yes, I said that) as that. She was LUCKY to be able to stay home with her children, MANY, MANY women are not so fortunate. There are people today who are struggle to stay in their homes, pay their bills and feed their families. It comes down to the addage QUALITY not QUANTITY. As long as the children are safe and know that the parents love them and are doing the best to keep them healthy and happy, then that is all we can do. Shame on Ms. Evans for making what I am sure is an already VERY tough decision even worse for these parents!

[Norkio]

I would love to be able to stay at home but we can't afford for me not to work right now. Not all of us come from privilege and wealth and can put our jobs on hold in order to be stay at home moms. Some of us have to work to make the ends meet and keep a roof over the family's head.

[Olivia]

I agree with Lori. The question of whether to have one parent stay home or not is a non sequitur. There are too many poor and single parent homes for the issue to be relevant except on an individual basis.