Recently, we had the opportunity to chat
one-on-one with Lisa Whelchel: actress, parenting expert, homeschooler and,
now, featured speaker with Women of Faith. We know Whelchel as the young
Mousketeer or as the fabulous Blair Warner on the popular 80s show The Facts of
Life. When The Facts of Life ended
after a 9 year run, Whelchel walked away from her Hollywood life to get married
and start a family. Through the years, she’s shared her experiences as a
stay-at-home Mom, homeschooler, scrapbooker, and Christian though her books and
website. Here’s what she had to in our chat:
MC: Why did you decide to leave ‘showbiz.’ Was it a hard decision
to make and did anyone try to talk you out of it?
LW: I didn’t make a decision to leave; it
just kind of happened. After The Facts of Life ended, I got married and then
had three kids in three years. I always assumed I’d go back to work once my
kids got a bit older, but when the time came and I tried, no one would hire me.
So I took that as a sign and decided to focus all of my time and energy on my
family. I was fortunate because I had such a wonderful career and had such
wonderful things at an early age and I was then was able to transition to
something even better.
MC: How did you make the decision to home school your children? Do
you have any advice for Moms considering this now?
LW: Like leaving showbiz, I stumbled into
homeschooling. I had always thought that my kids would go to a private
Christian school but when the time came I didn’t have the money so that wasn’t
an option. Public schools in LA can be scary so I was looking for other
alternatives, so when someone suggested homeschooling I figured I’d give it a
try.
The advice I’d offer to others considering
homeschooling is that it may not be the best option for everyone but it is a great alternative. If you have a
child that’s not a good fit for traditional public or private school, it’s an
option worth considering, and no one should discount it because of stereotypes.
Home schooling is a full time job and from my
experience it would be difficult to do anything else at the same time. If you really
want to do it you have to dedicate yourself to it. For me, that meant going to
conferences and reading every book I could find on the topic. It was hard at
first, but it got easier as my kids got older and started to develop their own
interests. Now, my oldest spend a few days a week at a home school academy
where they study more challenging subjects.
MC: It seems like you have a lot going on in your life. What’s
your trick to keeping everything together? How do you make time for yourself?
LW: The most important thing, I think, is realizing
that there are different seasons in life. Yes, I’ve done a lot in my life, but
it was all at different times. It’s important not to try to do everything at once.
When my kids were very young I didn’t try to do anything other than raise them.
That was a challenge enough. As they got older, I focused my efforts on
homeschooling them and from there I started to write about my experiences. It’s
only when my kids got their driver’s licenses that I started to spend more time
developing my own interests and friendships.
MC: Was that a difficult transition to make?
LW: Yes, it was very difficult to transition
back into friendships later in life. It’s trickier than I remember it being. When
I was a teenager, I was acting, so I wasn’t focusing as much attention as many
kids that age on developing friendships. Then I became a mother and most of my
friends were women I met through my kids. When I finally focused on developing
friendships of my own, I kind of forgot how to do it. I made some mistakes and
it took time to get comfortable with the situation. I think that transition is
something that many Moms deal with and I’m writing a book about it now.
MC: What has been your biggest challenge as a mother? What has
been your biggest (and most unexpected) reward?
LW: Among my biggest challenges has been
raising my son Tucker. He has ADHD and doesn’t fit into any of the molds
outlined in the parenting books I read. I had always thought if you follow the
rules, everything will go as planned and work out in the end but what I found
with Tucker is that’s not always the case. I read countless books about how to
address his unique difficulties, and nothing fit. It was all very stressful. It
wasn’t until I threw out the books and started to pay real attention to him
that I began to figure out what works best for him. That experience is what led
me to write my first book, which addresses how to parent ‘outside the mold.’
One of the most rewarding aspects of being a
mother is the relationships I have with my children now that they’re older. I have
some of the best friends in the world – it’s a wonderful thing.
MC: Why have you decided to share your story with Women of Faith?
What can Moms learn from your experiences?
LW: I’ve always admired Women of Faith. Having
been in the audience for many of their events, I was beyond honored when they
asked me to be a speaker. What I think works for them so well is their
philosophy – they don’t tell you what to do based on their experiences i.e. “this
is what worked for me so you should do it too.” Instead, they talk from a
perspective of failure, discouragement, and fear – difficult emotions that we
all feel – and in the middle of it all they uncover what they learned from their
challenges. The experiences they share touch and connect with the heart. They
make you feel like you’re not alone or odd because of the things you’re dealing
with. You leave with the knowledge that everyone goes through the same things
at times and so you can relax a little and just focus on who you are and where
you are in your journey.
Lisa Whelchel is currently on tour with the “Women of Faith,” the Nation’s Largest Women’s Conference, where she’s traveling around the country, sharing her story of how faith helped get her though personal and professional struggles throughout her life. For more information about Women of Faith, visit www.womenoffaith.com. You can also find more about Lisa on her website, www.lisawhelchel.com.
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